Day 5

Fear of Flying

Two nights before we are scheduled to fly to London, I wake up at 4 a.m. with a bout of nerves. At least I think it is nerves. My brain is buzzing with stuff, things to do, details, known and unnamed fears.

I have a moment like this nearly every time I have to travel, especially when the trip involves extended distance and time. Especially when I have to get up and hit the road earlier than usual. So here we are, 48 hours before our flight to London and I wake up wired.

Most of us get to this point nearly every time. What still needs to be done? What, after all, really does not require my diminishing time and attention? Have I remembered and considered everything? What will I remember when it is too late and feel sorry about?

To this, especially for air travel, some people add the flying terrors. I have them. Or perhaps it is fair to say I did have them at one point. They are less severe and less frequent now as I have flown several times a year, on average, over the last few decades. Many people, even some frequent fliers, have them constantly and severely. My oldest brother and my wife fall into this category. If you have flying terrors, it is hard to talk yourself out of them.

Fear of flying is one of several irrationalities attending the business of long distance air travel. On occasion, a Christian friend will tell me he is not afraid of flying because he knows where he is going when he dies. That is not especially helpful. It's not fear of Hell that creates fear of flying in most folks who feel panic blowing in like rain. Mostly it is the fear of crashing more than death itself that inhabits the dark corners of the heart, especially those long moments before impact when a crash appears inevitable and one is helpless. I can't imagine what passangers aboard jets hijacked or damaged in flight must go through.

To this, the rational among us will say that air travel is safer than car travel. Again, not particularly helpful. After all, there is something essentially irrational about being sealed into an aluminum canister and shot into space at hundreds of miles an hour by enormous jet engines. Note, please, that jets are large and heavy: they would not fly on their own. The fact that ocean-going ships float despite being heavier than water does not make the jet seem any more likely as a flying machine.

So the arguments run. It is no easier on the fearful to consider rational arguments before flight. What works for some are sedatives. For my many young student friends, the answer and the advice they give is sleep. Good advice, although sleep is one thing I find difficult in plane -- or cars. So, I may be beyond help for whatever the nerves are stirring up. The best I can do is finish the tasks I have left, pack what I know I will need, leave what I don't need, tell the people I love that I do love them, and get myself to the airport in time to clear the laborious security process.


Now there is nothing left but to let them seal the tin can and fire up the jets. I pray that what I leave at home will not require my attention after all. And I whatever is just ahead will be a great experience.