On Saturday, a week before the royal fuss in London, we attended our first wedding in Korea.
Our young friend and benefactor, Joo-yub, married Go Eun, a young woman we had thought to be "imaginary" until we met her in person a week before the wedding.
Following advice, we showed up at the church early to attend the reception, which begins 90 minutes before the ceremony itself.
As one who has spent many long long hours waiting for American receptions to start while the bridal party gets properly photographed back at the church, I want to vote for this idea. Eat first!
About 2:15 we went upstairs. We found Joo-yub, looking scrubbed and shiny for the occasion, greeting guests near a table set up outside the sanctuary. An attendant was taking envelopes with wedding contributions and recording the contributions in a ledger. A contribution, we had been told, is customary, the size signifying the nature of your relationship to the bride or groom.
Hmm.
How well do we really know this guy?
Just kidding. We had our contribution ready, and we were happy about it. But we found the process amusing. I can not imagine guests at an American wedding taking well to wedding contributions. Just the possibility would guarantee an empty church!
After the young man wrote our names in the ledger, we shook Joo-yub's hand (looks sharp, doesn't he!) and went into the sanctuary to find seats.
The outside of the church resembles an office building, but the sanctuary, sure enough, looks like many church sanctuaries in the States.
To our surprise we did know some people attending besides Joo-yub. Rosa Oh, a student of mine, asked to sit with us, so we had another English speaking contact should we need explanations. I do not have a picture of Rosa's face, but I did take a picture of her high heeled sneakers a few weeks ago as a bit of fashion trivia for a blog yet to be written.
Suddenly, it seemed to us, Joo-yub began walking up the center aisle. Everyone applauded.
Eun Jeong, another multi-talented friend and benefactor from the University, was playing the piano.
When he reached the altar, Eun Jeon played "Here Comes the Bride" and our eyes turned toward Go Eun and her father. Again we applauded.
The ceremony itself, being in Korean, was mostly a mystery to us -- although I note that the words "home sweet home" rang out loud and clear during the pastor's homily.
Two older women in front of us dressed in hanbok, the traditional Korean dress, held a vigorous conversation for the first few minutes of the ceremony, much to the annoyance of two younger women sitting with them.
From my notebook, I pass along these observations:
The bride and groom exchanged vows by raising their right hands as if they were in a court of law.
We sang several familiar hymns (e.g., All the Way My Savior Leads Me), someone prayed, the pastor gave a substantial sermon, and the vows were exchanged but not rings.
Then a group of five teenagers came onto a little side stage with big head bows to dance to to a pop song.
We think these were kids from the Sunday School class Joo-yub teaches. I have seen many weddings over the decades, but I must say this routine was a first for me in a Christian ceremony. Lively and well-received, I might add, but clearly not part of the western tradition.
After the dance, Joo-yub took the microphone to sing a lovely, passionate love song to his bride. As I could not see him very well, I pass along this photograph of the big screen image.
We were surprised at how well he sings (since does not usually sing in the office). This is a young man of many talents. Outstanding.
In what is clearly the most traditional part of the whole ceremony, Joo-yub and his bride approached her parents to the right of the platform and then his mother to the left of the platform. To both his new in-laws and his mother, GoEun bowed and Joo-yub knelt and pressed his forehead to the floor.
Like the wedding contribution, this tradition, noble and touching, is hard to imagine in America.
As the bride and groom walked back down the aisle as husband and wife, still looking formal and somber, Joo-yub flashed me a clandestine V as he passed our aisle. My man!
We hung around for the wedding pictures and even wormed our way into one. Not bad.
Then it was over. Since we had eaten already we found a taxi to take us home.
The bride's parents during photo ops.
Joo-yub's mother just outside the sanctuary.
We did not see a lot of non-western traditions apart from the women and one older gentleman who wore hanboks. At every point we asked about "tradition" regarding the wedding, we are told, "this would not be tradtional, but . . . ." We are left thinking the idea of tradition is too broad and too frequently modified by new ideas to make a simple answer meaningful. In a general way, it would be like asking whether William and Kate had a traditional English wedding. It depends on what you imagine to be "tradition."
Nonetheless, we are glad to have celebrated with Joo-yub and Go Eun. We have been honored to be your guests.
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