China Revisited -- 2013 [#18]

Senior Activity Center

The road into the Zhang family village was lined with colorful vertical banners to announce the special occasion.

 

As benefactor of his family village, Edward's father was being honored with a dinner to which everyone in the village was invited.  He was being honored for building the Senior Activity Center where the dinner was served. While it was not mentioned as part of this celebration, we were also aware that he had paid for other buildings in town, including the Zhang ancestral house, and, as I have noted elsewhere, he built the aqueduct that brought clean water to the village.We were told that folks from neighboring villages, family and friends, had also made the journey. What an honor and privilege it was for us to be included in the gathering and to be treated as special guests. 

   

                                 

We were led up to a table on the second floor and seated in the corner, out of traffic.  We had toured this building briefly the day before, when the place was empty; but now it was packed with folks seated on red plastic stools around the big circular tables. Edward's father had a place at our table, but he did not sit. He spent the hour moving from table to table, "working the room" as we say. Edward and his mother also had seats but they were only sporadically there. Edward was clearly learning how to make connections, and his mother was, I think, just catching up since she knew nearly everyone. Yujia, who doesn't know the local language, kept company with the foreigners.

We had thought there might be speeches, too, or a ceremony, which would have been interesting, but as often happened, we were working with the wrong assumptions. It was eat, drink, and talk. Between the two floors of the Senior Center and the building next door, about 500 people were being fed. The room buzzed with conversations.  Women came to the tables with food, mostly soups, and a man came around with ceramic jars of rice wine that he left on individual tables.  He was very busy.

As the first foreigners anyone could remember, people came over to offer us toasts and to thank us for coming.  The custom is to hear the toast and then clink glasses. Edward translated the first few as "Good health and long life" -- something like that. His first uncle, so-called to designate birth order, gave a long toast in which he welcomed us to China and thanked us for taking care of Edward and Yujia.

After the toast, customarily, you drain your glass and then hold it upside down so that everyone can see you took the toast seriously.  When I didn't drink the rice wine after the toasts, Edward had to explain that we did not drink. His explanation was always greeted with laughter. After three or four of these explanations, he decided to dump the wine and fill my glass with 7-Up.

That way I could toast with a good conscience and turn my cup over to everyone's satisfaction.  Let it be known: this American can hold his 7-Up with the best!

Edward told us later that a lot of people had wanted to come over to meet us but were too shy or afraid. When we had finished eating we went outside to find that it had warmed up.  We sat under the trees at the tea table and talked, through Edward and a bit through Yujia, with those who had gathered. For a while Edward's father and mother sat with us, but eventually they were called away to talk with different friends or relatives or guests.

We talked for some time with a group of businessmen from out of the area who had come to the village to explore business opportunities. They asked questions about the recent American presidential election; in particular some harsh criticism directed toward the Chinese in the debates had hurt their feelings. After a bit of give and take, we figured out that what they wanted to know was how Americans felt about the Chinese as people.

We assured them that whatever mistrust our governments held toward one another, we had come to China to see people for whom we had great affection. We did not solve our national differences, but we agreed that in human terms we liked each other. Even this little guy, who had spent quite a while in our company with his grandfather, seemed to think we could all get along.

At that point a new black car pulled up and took the businessmen to the airport. Shortly, our diplomacy at an end for that afternoon, Edward opened his BMW and announced it was time to go.